


Empires Fall

by vilepie



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Lithuania's Outsourcing, Nostalgia, Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29730831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vilepie/pseuds/vilepie
Summary: Tolys truly was old, no matter how flattering Alfred dared to be. He had thousands of memories, regrets, and the marks to prove them. He spoke with the words of someone who had burned bright only to fade out, and he walked with a limp after being on his feet too long.
Relationships: America & Lithuania (Hetalia), Lithuania/Poland (Hetalia), mentioned
Kudos: 6





	Empires Fall

Originally, he took the proffered clothes more so because he didn’t want to wear his military uniform, opposed to actually having an affinity for what he was given. Not that he would complain, or even that he minded, it just wasn’t his style. Nothing really was anymore. Tolys would much prefer to dress up in his old tunics, and armour, though he couldn’t say why. Perhaps it was the memories his uniforms held throughout the ages. 

Tolys didn’t really care as long as he didn’t look like that, what he looked like a little over a year ago. He didn’t particularly want to fit in with the government employees in his new home, and neither did his host. Alfred had muttered something about the clothes being too confining, and he seemed a little put down by it, so Tolys didn’t question further. He wouldn’t walk around in classy clothes in his own home either, though that was just his wish to fit in, and be another citizen. That is, if you don’t count the records proclaiming his status as a government official which wasn’t a lie, but not exactly the whole truth. 

The one thing he could truthfully say he liked about his new wardrobe is that there was variety. There wasn’t a uniform, or a code. Of course, when attending meetings, he hadn’t the guts to do that again but he knew the time was soon to come, he’d put on something a bit more formal. Maybe a future boss would be harsher regarding fashion, he didn’t know. Whatever the passing days held, he was thankful. He’d always be thankful for Alfred; thankful that such a young kid did such kind things. 

Tolys was thankful he had the small freedoms, like the ability to wear whatever he pleased, and he was also thankful for the larger freedoms, like the ability to live, to be treated like a human. Granted he wasn’t a human, but he wasn’t an emotionless tool for his nation as some longed to believe. He had a personality, one that wasn’t influenced by his bosses, and his people, and Alfred recognized that. 

That had to be part of the reason they got along. Alfred didn’t push anything. He let Tolys take his time, take whatever he needed, be it a day off, or a week off. He was sent here to work, but aside from basic house cleaning, Tolys didn’t do a lot, no matter how much he insisted. Alfred was persistent with his own ideas too, though he usually won the friendly arguments. Alfred had told Tolys that this was his time to get back on his feet, to recover, and Tolys let that decision be made for him. It wasn’t as if he would be forced to share his woes with Alfred, he couldn’t bear to do that to him, but he did now have a stable environment in which he could move at his own pace.

It all started slow. They became acquainted, then conversations got more lengthy as they discussed anything from nature to the way the cars drove past. By then, Tolys had begun to change. He slept later when he could, actually catching up on what he missed due to relentless nightmares. He allowed Alfred to take him places on the weekends. He wasn’t alright, he didn’t know if he’d ever be alright, but Tolys was willing to say that some of the tension had evaporated. He didn’t worry about going days without food, or being left in the cold. That’s not to say he didn’t worry, for he did constantly. Over big things like punishment for dropping something, or accidentally voicing his own opinion. Then there were the smaller things like Alfred not liking what he cooked, or the outfit he put on.

The latter was less likely considering Alfred was the one who bought him everything he currently owned, but that never stopped Tolys from staring in the mirror each day before leaving the shockingly large, it was pretty much a mansion though Tolys wouldn’t say he deserved one of the finer residencies, room he had been provided. His thoughts always strayed, jumping from if his hair was tidy enough, to if his pants matched the button up, and vest he currently adorned.

He had eventually decided that his hair was fine tied up at the base of his neck. It wasn’t tacky, it was just efficient. Then Tolys realized it was a matter of if he should roll up his sleeves or not, and if the top button should be done, or undone. When the alarm clock rang, a decision had to be made, and it was. Sleeves down, no matter how improper it could possibly be, and button done, no matter how uncomfortable it felt. With those tasks accomplished, he slipped through the door, and ran straight for their personal kitchen. 

Tolys was nowhere near fast anymore, and was already almost late. Late for what, he didn’t know yet. That was to be determined when he met Alfred just as he did each day of the weekend. The jog wouldn’t be too long, but it was enough to leave one breathless, or, perhaps that was just Tolys. The building was two stories, and the top floor belonged to Alfred, and any actual guests. The bottom was reserved exclusively for business matters, and actually getting to the second floor. 

He was grateful in the sense he didn’t have to run down a flight of stairs, but he still wasn’t to have a leisurely stroll. The bedrooms, and bathrooms were located on the right wing while the kitchen, utility rooms, and entertainment rooms lay on the left. Had he not slept late, he could’ve waltzed across the hall to Alfred’s room, but Tolys had the sense not to pass up on a few extra hours. So, in that case, it was already decided that they would meet in the kitchen for breakfast. It was a decision that came hand in hand with Alfred generously stating he had to be awake by ten on Saturdays, and Sundays, which was four extra hours he had to sleep if he needed.

“Ah, Mr. Jones! Good morning.” 

Tolys’ greeting held the fondness he shared for the scene before him. Alfred sat at the bar separating the kitchen from the living area, simultaneously blocking off the dining area with the kitchen on the other half of the room that lay at the end of the main hall. There wasn’t much mess to be found. The grey marble countertops that lined the walls leading from the bar, and polished oak table, save for the stove, and sink, to join in the far right corner were practically sparkling. Not a single cabinet, more oak shelves that followed the lead of the counters, lay open, the only sign anything had changed since last night being the half full coffee pot that sat closest to Alfred amidst the other displayed utensils.

“Oh, hey, Lithuania! Ya know, Alfred is good.”

“Well, isn’t that the same thing I say about you calling me Lithuania?” Tolys chuckled, taking his seat next to his host.

“As if it matters.”

Tolys watched Alfred as he fumbled around with his newspaper in an attempt to fold it properly. It was amusing, the way he would struggle for a few seconds only to discard the paper, leaving it for the trashcan. Tolys had a feeling he only read to occupy himself. After all, he’d be the first to know if anything were to go wrong.

“What would you like for breakfast?”

“I was thinking we could have something small, and go out today for lunch. Ya want anything special?”

“No, anything is fine.”

It always was fine. Tolys didn’t want to impose, especially if Alfred was willing to settle for something cheap. Tolys didn’t have much money. He worked under Alfred, making a living, though that was more to save, and try to build up his own economy. Had he no manners, that wouldn’t be a problem. Alfred’s paycheck currently exceeded that of the average government employee, which was most likely a perk of the booming economy. Anything other than a typical wage, and exemption from civic duties, such as taxes, came from the goodness of a leader’s heart. The option was always on the table, but it ultimately depended on the personality of whoever was in charge, meaning Tolys had only experienced it a couple of times before.

“Great! I can surprise you then. I already made myself some toast a while ago.”

“I think I’ll pass. Do you have any plans for today?”

At that, Alfred had slammed his, thankfully empty, mug down, further crinkling the newspaper currently on death’s door.

“Look, you can’t not eat.”

“I mean, I was thinking I would wait. I- Lunch is only in a couple of hours.”

“Ha, alright. Whaddya say to a walk? It’s chilly out today so we don’t have to worry about getting dirty before going out.”

An expert at changing the subject, or at being oblivious, Tolys didn’t care. A walk, a slow walk, sounded just fine.

“Of course, Mr. Alfred.”

Before Tolys had an opportunity to finish his confirmation, Alfred had leapt out of his seat, pushing the newspaper into the trashcan pressed against the wall at his feet, and extending his free hand towards Tolys. One glance around the room to determine what he’d have to do upon his return, clean a mug, and replace the coffee filter, and Tolys accepted the offer, placing his hand in Alfred’s own.

Tolys had almost lost his balance, the energy Alfred possessed having been forgotten. He was always lively, and eager to occupy himself be it with a walk through the gardens, or with a card game Tolys usually won fair, and square. When they went out, it was usually to the cinema, or to gaze into shop windows.

“Hey, that’s a start.”

“What? Oh, I suppose it is.”

His momentary confusion was replaced with a giggle, one that Alfred willingly shared as they trekked down the stairs, and towards the main entrance. The house was pretty much empty, giving Alfred the freedom to run ahead once he passed the stairs. He never strayed too far, this time waiting at the door as Tolys caught up. As he’d been told, it was chilly. It didn’t bother him in the sense of nearly freezing to death, but it was very much like a slap to the face, both the breeze, and memories considered. The temperature most likely wouldn’t warm up, clouds having settled over the sky. It made for a pretty scene that Tolys hoped he’d be able to enjoy once conversation started up.

He preferred the clouds over sun, just as he preferred secluded areas over an easily seen strip of land. The latter was mostly satisfied as well, the house being surrounded by grey brick walls that matched the exterior of his current residence. The grass was evenly cut, and trees only dotted the terrain the path cut through, but it worked. Like a field surrounded by forest. He hadn’t been in such a place for years thanks to industrialization, yet the gardens provided a similar feel that only contributed to his silence induced intrusive thoughts.

“How are you today, Alfred?”

“How am I? Well, pretty good. There isn’t much to do, so, yeah, I’d say great!”

The gravel crunched beneath their feet as they followed the trail winding around the house. Background noise was much needed, and the sound of bare tree branches clashing helped too. Peaceful, exactly as it should be, and Tolys hoped it remained.

“That’s good. Nothing to do for the upcoming week, either?”

“Nope! Not much, anyways. A direct meeting with my boss Monday, and after that I’m completely free. Which is probably because Christmas is Friday, but it still counts!”

“Oh, do you intend to resume your festivities this year?” 

Tolys further inquired about the plans for the near future, the probability that Alfred wouldn’t actually be completely free, as he had put it, being worrisome.

“You mean am I having a kick ass party? Heh, not exactly.”

That was relieving, Tolys having one less thing to fret over, yet Alfred seemed put down by his decision. The first probability that came to mind was that he was at fault, which left him in another seemingly unsolvable conflict. Tolys didn’t want to cause trouble, but at the same time he wasn’t sure how capable he would be of handling guests. Even if that wasn’t the case, it was still disturbing to find Alfred’s bright mood quelled. 

“I’m sorry. Do you- Is there any particular reason why?”

“I mean, not really. We’re in peace times, but something is still off, yanno?”

Yes, he did know. He also didn’t. Tolys wasn’t entirely sure why Alfred wanted to have a simple holiday. He knew why he wanted to have a simple holiday; people, and even if they were the right ones it was still far too complicated. Pretty much anybody Alfred maintained a relationship with had come to love him in spite of his brash attitude, and those that didn’t like him, or just had an overall faulty personality, didn’t necessarily have to be invited.

No invitation, of course, ran the risk of angering someone to the point of starting a non political conflict. Worrisome to most, but even though Alfred had his insecurities, he didn’t mind pointing it out if someone really, truly was wrong, and not just in his own eyes. Then there was how well everybody else got along. Most were on good terms as of late, at least as far as friends of Alfred went. No matter who favoured who, tensions were dropping overall, but internal conflict, and grudges weren’t gone. It was a high stakes situation, anything social was in these times. 

“I get it, but I just- I didn’t expect it from you, to be honest.”

“What, is that an insult, or a compliment?”

“Take it how you want, but either way you’re growing up. If you ask me, it isn’t really that bad of a thing, provided you go in the right direction.” 

“I guess you’re right. Hey, at least I won’t ever look old!”

That had dragged another chuckle out of Tolys, and not simply due to the hilarity of the statement. It was also the irony, the way Alfred thought, and, most importantly, the way he had perked up without second thought as to what had gotten him down.

“Is there anything wrong with looking old?”

“Kinda, but, I mean, you don’t look old. If I didn’t know you, I’d definitely say you were, like, twenty something!”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t feel old.” Tolys laughed, loosening up under the positive air. Stable is what the environment was, and it didn’t give him hope, but it made waking up each day infinitely more bearable.

“I don’t! I think I don’t. Feeling old doesn’t sound good.”

“I’d be worried if you felt old. You’re full of energy. Plus, you’ve got to be an infant compared to me.”

“Well, I’m not a brainless idiot. I’m more like a teenager. Cool, and smart, but still not old.”

“If you’re smart, then I’d say you’re a pretty lucky teenager. A lot of people consider themselves young, and reckless.”

"You mean you were young, and reckless? I've heard the stories! You were mad strong. I bet you could take me on today!" 

Alfred had halted in his wild gestures, instead pointing at the bench off to their right. Tolys thought it was a considerate act, especially for someone who thought themself to be a teenager. Tolys truly was old, no matter how flattering Alfred dared to be. He had thousands of memories, regrets, and the marks to prove them. He spoke with the words of someone who had burned bright only to fade out, and he walked with a limp after being on his feet too long. The latter was a more recent addition, but it certainly added to the effect of his age, and the kindness of Alfred's offer, which he readily took after the events of the morning. 

The bench was only there because of him, which provided another possible explanation for why Alfred wanted to find a place to sit. Tolys had commented on how he enjoyed to lounge on the edge of the fountain centered along the back of the house. His wish had become Alfred’s command, a few days later a wooden bench being placed on the side of the gravel pathway closest to the house, and opposite the grey marble fountain that was currently off for the season. It still provided a pretty sight, though, Tolys sighing delightedly as he sat. He took a moment to smooth over his rather loose olive green vest which was mimicked by Alfred, the latter doing the same to his own skin tight white button up.

“I don’t think so. Even if I wanted to, you’re a global superpower.”

“Yeah, military wise, but you don’t just forget stuff, right? You have truck loads of experience compared to me. No matter how many loud ass guns I have.” Alfred stated, sounding quite the opposite of dejected at the thought of being weak. 

Another work of flattery, maybe an attempt to keep the skin on his back while subduing his fear. Though, regardless how obvious it was that Alfred was on edge, Tolys refused to acknowledge the probability of it.

“To be fair, I’m better with a sword, or a bow.”

“I don’t think I’ve used a bow ever. I’ve always had some pretty sick guns.”

“I never really liked guns.”

Tolys had always favoured his old dagger over anything. It wasn’t as if he could use it, though. For one, he hadn’t a clue where it was, and even if he did, he’d get shot before he got the chance. 

“What was it like?” Alfred finally caved after a few moments of silence, his hand propped along the back of the bench tapping as he awaited a reply.

“It’s not very hard, either of them, but your hands bleed a lot.”

“In other words, not as good as guns. But I meant what was it like? Being an empire?”

He didn’t know how to answer. If anything, it was awful. Tolys loved every second of it, but it felt as if every moment he enjoyed, he died a million times over. It hurt now too, thinking about it. His arms tingled, his chest ached, and his head swam. Confused, because Tolys hadn’t a clue what to say. There wasn’t a word that could actually capture it. He was strong then, he was alright. He felt lonely, and then he felt loved. As the years passed, Tolys felt hurt, hated, confused, stupid, and loved at the same time. Perhaps the worst part is that he adored it, the insanely awful, and awesomely ethereal feelings.

“I- I don’t… know. I don’t know,” Tolys exhaled shakily, vision blurring as his eyes refused to move from the spot where browning grass met polished stone.

“It was- it was awful.” He decided after a moment full of shifting cloth, Alfred moving to hunch over, head in his hands facing towards Tolys, and elbows pressing down on his knees.

“You didn’t like it? Weren’t you married?”

“I wasn’t married, but I was- I had someone, but we couldn’t get married.”

“Were they a-”

“No, no, they were like us. Our lands- our lands were united, and the, uh, the leaders were married. We- they- By his traditions, and the leaders’ wishes, we were to follow in their footsteps, and consummate the marriage to make the union of two nations complete. We then got to know each other, and it escalated despite being told we were meant to be as friends, or brothers in arms. We couldn’t get married, though, so we decided to do so by my traditions.”

The air hadn’t necessarily grown uncomfortable, nor awkward, but it was still tainted with fear, and pain. Alfred, while genuinely interested based upon his unchanging posture and confused eyes, hadn’t the intention of invoking any of the memories the man himself had worked hard to chase away in Tolys’ embarrassingly desperate times of need. Tolys knew that much, and he hadn’t the intention to put Alfred down either. He didn’t want to share too much, but marriage was typically considered a happy affair, safe from blood, guts, and pain in most cases. A topic Alfred probably didn’t realize was sensitive, and that Tolys was guilty for having an adverse reaction to, though that couldn’t be helped. 

Tolys picked at his hands, refusing to avert his gaze from where it had been since the conversation took a turn. There wasn’t much to do. He said it, it didn’t sound bad, or maybe it did, and it didn’t help anything, but it certainly couldn’t hurt either. Lingering physical pain to accompany the constant mental agony, maybe, but Alfred wouldn’t even be aware, much less pass judgement on him for it.

“It was him, right? Isn’t he-”

“Yes, it was, and he is, it’s just- things were a bit different back then. We were different. I- I mean not exactly me, maybe a little bit as far as you- you know, but us. We couldn’t get married, s-so I suggested something.” Tolys lacked in hand gestures, but his frantic voice spoke volumes as he struggled to adequately explain the situation without crossing any boundaries.

“We- Feliks, and I, about a year after the marriage- I truly loved him, politics aside, and he said the same. We made a promise, an oath, or something. Here-”

It was a slow start, quite literally, Tolys fighting to pull himself out of his stupor. Once his head moved the rest came naturally, his eyes eventually wandering towards his lap, and then to the buttoned sleeves. Sighing, he undid the lone button, sliding the pristine white fabric up to his elbow. Gaze remaining on himself, he hadn’t the confidence to look at Alfred, he pushed his calloused hand to the right, and awaited a reaction.

“It was kind of stupid, but it was the closest thing I could think up to seal it. The scar on my hand- a blood pact, I think is what it’s considered.” Is what Tolys provided, his breath hitching as the silence prevailed, save for a soft  _ thwick  _ as Alfred removed his hands from his face.

“Tolys?” Alfred inquired gently, taking Tolys’ right hand in his left one.

It was shocking, a direct call to his name that sounded almost as if Alfred were fearful, trying to calm his own nerves, and not Tolys. He perked up a bit, turning his head to get a better idea of what Alfred was thinking, or what he wanted. Had anything he said been wrong, it would be painfully obvious.

“Yes?” He stammered, clearing his throat the second he was able to acknowledge his voice was coarse, yet hopefully still audible.

“Oh, man, I’m so sorry. I- I didn’t mean to upset you, or anything, I just- Are you, like, alright?”

He stared for a bit, his first mistake, before bringing his free hand up to viciously swipe at his eyes. Tolys wanted to know what Alfred thought, but he couldn’t bother to ask. It was clear he was disturbed, and he could only pray it was genuine concern not hidden anger, or pity. Not that he wanted Alfred to worry, but that was preferable over all the other options he couldn’t seem to break free from. The ever present ‘what-ifs.’

“Huh? I- I- No, it’s fine- I’m fine. I didn’t mean to-” Tolys cut himself off with an involuntary whimper, his teeth sinking into his lips in order to thwart the trembling. At this point, anything to keep from breaking, but his actions only seemed to prompt Alfred even further, the other moving to grab at his left hand.

“Hey, no, it’s ok. Do you, uh- Do you need anything? Please- It’s ok, just- We can talk?” 

Alfred had quickly gone from worried to panicky, a sure sign Tolys had failed. He was guilty, over both the past, and present, but he couldn’t push through himself to come to Alfred’s aid. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t work a thing out except that it truly did hurt, and that he had to do something, something for Alfred especially.

“I’m sorry! I- I’m so sorry,” Tolys sobbed, gasping for air as the worry Alfred had once displayed festered within his own mind. He wasn’t helping, and he hated that. He was weak, crying in front of someone who might as well be his superior, and he couldn’t think far enough ahead to fix it.

“No, you don’t have to be sorry, man. It’s not y-” Alfred was the one cut off this time, by his own means as well. 

The abrupt stop in his soothing served to amp up Tolys’ guilt. Alfred had stopped himself, but Tolys knew it was his fault for instilling the other’s shock. He still couldn’t move. He felt stuck, the way he was struggling to breathe not helping in the least. Tolys couldn’t pull away, so he tightened his grip on Alfred’s shirt. He needed to apologize, to calm down, but each thought only had him longing to hide even more. It kept escalating every time he tried to stop, Tolys growing even more frustrated at the fact that he couldn’t think rationally enough to determine why Alfred had reciprocated the hug.

“I’m sorry,” he cried into Alfred’s chest, able to feel the cloth his face was pressed against growing wet in spite of his eyes being squeezed shut. He apologized. It was what he needed to do, but Tolys didn’t do it right. He couldn’t seem to do anything right.

“It’s alright, Tolys.”

**Author's Note:**

> i had this written for awhile. i forgot where i was going with it, but i think i got the point across. i also have no clue where this came from either. i was probably thinking that alfred is a child compared to a lot of his peers. and then of course tolys had to be there, because, well, because tolys. also, huge reminder- it is alright to be strong, and not ok at the same time. :D i try to show that tolys isn't a weak pushover, but he also isn't all happy, and cheerful either.


End file.
